Lover's Quarrel

by: Rachelle Arlin Credo

One minute you seem like lovesick turtledoves teasing, laughing and giggling with all your might. Then a few minutes later, you begin yelling and berating each other and a lover's quarrel is already in progress. A little bantering was all it took to stoke up a rising emotional tension. Every now and then, no matter how close and intimate a couple is, an argument occasionaly looms to create a tide in the relationship. Although sometimes it shakes a relationship down to its very core, if handled well, it is healthy and can help create lasting relationships. Here is a list of what couples like you usually argue about and what you should do whenever you are faced with another petty bickering. Jealousy Jealousy is a natural human emotion. It is not negative in itself. How people react to jealous feelings make it negative. Usually, jealousy stems from the lack of trust or lack of assurance from one's partner. It can also come from a low self-image or an inferioriy complex. If you're the jealous one, learn to act by reason and not by emotion. Your jealousy is just a product of your own mental-emotional patterns that only exist in your head. Just because your lover admired something about another person, does not mean that you are loved any less, or that the person is more attractive than you are. Voice out how you feel to your partner so that you can discuss things and he can help you alleviate your jealousy. If your partner is the green-eyed monster, assure him of your devotion and reassure him of his innate worth as your love mate. Perhaps your partner needs more attention and affection than you are giving him. Individual Differences When you first met, it may be the similarities you found with each other that instantly created the bond and rapport. However, as you knew each other better, it's your differences that potentially fashioned the strength of your relationship. Hence, it is important that you value the differences that make you unique as a couple. Perhaps, there might be times when you may want to change your partner into your view of his potential. But even if you'd succeed in your crusade, chances are you'd lose respect for him for allowing you to have done it and for not having the personal strength to be himself. So it is better that you both learn to compromise and meet halfway everytime a conflict surges. Be ready to recognize each other's weaknesses and learn to appreciate what the other has to offer. Instead of seeing yourselves as separate individuals, practise seeing each other as an aspect of yourselves. In this way you shatter the illusion of separation and bridge the gap that's keeping you asunder. Unmet Expectations When a dispute recurs but too many times like a bad case of athlete's foot but you have no clue as to what's really causing the problem, odds are it was because your partner did not meet your expectations or he didn't meet yours. When expectations are not met, a spat usually ushers in. Depending on the expectations you may want to concede in your relationship, it is highly commendable that you bring your expectations upfront from the very start of the relationship. Determine which expectations are most important to you and which are most important to your partner. Spend some time tossing around what you both desire and need from the relationship and what you must have and won't tolerate from each other. Remember, love works best when it involves both give and take. You're-Wrong-I'm-Right Attitude Instincts often tell us not to give up and admit defeat in times of disagreements especially if we are certain that we are right. But come to think of it, does it really matter who's right and who's not? In a relationship, it is never good to assert too much if it means you could hurt your partner. Let go of having to "be right!" If you must speak up, do it lovingly. Never tell your partner that he is wrong straight in the face. If you do this, you may just stir a storm in a teacup and set about a violent outburst. Instead of having to be RIGHT, decide between your mate that it is more important to be HAPPY. Discuss in a loving way areas of mutual concern then agree on certain terms so that you prevent yourselves from meshing with future disagreements. Money Matters When you're going through the honeymoon phase of your relationship, money may not be much of an issue. Nonetheless, as the relationship progresses, power struggles and control issues around money may just start surfacing. This creates tension that if not resolved, can put a serious damper on the relationship. Where critical differences exist in your financial expectations, try to negotiate. Work out a way of managing your finances that gives you both some control. In any case, if one is earning more than the other, he/she shouldn't hold all the control because even if the other is contributing less in the financial aspect, that does not mean he/she is contributing any less in other areas of the relationship. Over all of this, if there are still issues, sit and talk things over. Discussion and cooperation may not confer instant solutions to difficult financial issues, but knowing you and your partner agree about how to approach the situation will help maintain the zing in your relationship. Arguments by nature are difficult and can even be hurtful and frustrating. And yet, they are a normal natural aspect of any relationship. Like the salt to meat dishes, they add flavor to the lives of couples and help build better relationships. On the other hand, if disputes are handled poorly, they can also potentially wreck a strong relationship. So, in order to avoid this, every disagreement should be carefully handled in a way that would boost relationship satisfaction and pave the way for new growth together. Truly, it's fun to fight and make up (and out) after knowing you have worked together through it all.

How We Define Our Relationships – by Joseph Ghabi

by: Joseph Ghabi

We can fall into the habit of complaining about our relationships, but do we really take the time to evaluate them? Maybe not, because well, we’re always right! He or she never listens to ME or does things the way I think is right (the human EGO speaking loudly here!) First of all, we need to understand one thing – which we do not live in our parents’ or grandparents’ time. The “souls” of our generation are here to acquire as much life experience as possible in this one lifetime. What do I mean by this? When my soul decided to come back and integrate into this body, the temple of my soul, I educated myself in spirit and prepared (in theory) for all the experiences I would have in this lifetime. I decided to come back to understand these experiences by having to understand the human emotions – the anger, the crying and all of the other human frustrations – that went with the experience. But in reality, this is an experience for my soul knowledge, for my forever soul evolution. Once this experience is finished, everything from that experience needs to be completed without leaving any residue of emotions, and then will be the time to prepare for a new venture. As humans, we rarely complete a relationship properly; often we hope that one day it might work out. Personally, I believe that once an experience is not working in the first place, it will not work later. Unless BOTH, and I really mean BOTH parties are ready to give up their differences, our old patterns from that relationship, along with the help of our sub-conscious, will bring the same familiar events back into our life. Remember, even if we meet our soul mate, unless both soul mates are ready for each other, the relationship will never work. It’s important that we learn to cut our emotions after every experience in order to make proper room for the next one. Once we leave a relationship, we cannot expect the new one to be the same. This just does not make sense! Things eventually evolve if you properly cut your emotional links with the previous relationship, and you accept change into your life. In reality our soul will never allow us to go backward in our life except when our human mind decides we want to stick around and have the same type of relationship again. Then we are falling back into our old pattern. Look at your relationships and see if there is a pattern that you keep running into, then accept this and, without any blame to yourself or the other people involved, just feel blessed about what you learned and accomplished and wish the best for all people involved – because what goes around comes around, multiplied! How do we define our relationships? A relationship is a two way street. Why would we decide to go into a relationship if we are NOT ready to walk down a new street? If we need a relationship just for the sake of feeling safe and secure about ourselves then we are in for a long haul. A two way street type of relationship, in my definition, is when both partners involved accept each other for the way they are and not the way they want the other person to be. In many cases, we look to the exterior values, being physical or of a material nature. How do they look? What car are they driving? What do they do in life? These values exist only at the surface level. These traits eventually lose all relevance and eventually fade. Accepting your partner requires an amount of responsibility from your part in numerous ways. And we must not, under any circumstance, allow ourselves to become a doormat for the other person. We should treat each other with respect, from a deeper level as equal, and learn to listen, enabling the development of a strong foundation, crucial in the building of a solid relationship. We need to understand their soul. I only ask you to be honest with yourself. Identify your previous partners and see what exactly attracted you to that person initially. It might surprise you to see that we always look for what is acceptable on the exterior, disregarding what values exist internally. There are many principles with regard to relationships and it would be to your benefit if you were to apply some careful thought and consideration to what motivates you to become involved in the relationships you do. Consider what, in reality, you really want as a human being. After establishing this, in your own right, you will be able to identify these qualities within another person and then you are more likely to be successful in finding the right partner for you. A relationship is based on three things: First is to be able to associate socially on some common ground and enjoy being together. Second is to be able to communicate well and express our emotions in a healthy way. Third is to be connected with your soul partner and allow your partner to get to know you better by opening up on a deeper level. Copyright © Joseph Ghabi http://www.freespiritcentre.info About the Author: Joseph Ghabi is an author, lecturer, and healer. Joseph provides Intuitive Numerology Consultation, Healing Childhood Experiences Consultation and PhD Candidate living in Montreal Canada. At the age of eight Joseph discovered his clairvoyance. Joseph is natural medium. Joseph started the ‘Free Spirit Centre’ website at http://www.freespiritcentre.info. A community centre devoted to personal growth, self help, soul growth, eating disorders, relationships, healing and human issues. You can find over 800 articles on the site. Joseph task is in bringing Souls back to realization of their own personal power and into alignment with their own soul purpose and path of evolution.

About the Author: Joseph Ghabi is an author, lecturer, and healer. Joseph provides Intuitive Numerology Consultation, Healing Childhood Experiences Consultation and PhD Candidate living in Montreal Canada. At the age of eight Joseph discovered his clairvoyance. Joseph is natural medium. Joseph started the ‘Free Spirit Centre’ website at http://www.freespiritcentre.info . A community centre devoted to personal growth, self help, soul growth, eating disorders, relationships, healing and human issues. You can find over 800 articles on the site. Joseph task is in bringing Souls back to realization of their own personal power and into alignment with their own soul purpose and path of evolution.

The 7 Unfailing Laws of Successful Relationships

by: Dr Brenda Shoshanna

Copyright 2005 Brenda Shoshanna Most think that relationships exist to make them happy. When they find that special person, they believe that love will naturally grow. But in relationships we encounter everything, challenges, joy, fulfillment, loss. Yet, despite all training in life, we seldom learn about the knitty gritty of relationships, how to build the relationship in a way that brings out the best in all. To start this process, there are 7 simple laws we can learn and use. These laws will act as guideposts, helping us to choose wisely and to avoid costly mistakes. Law #1 - There is never a lack of relationships. Relationships are abundantly available wherever you are. Many live with the idea that love is scarce -there's not enough to go around and that they must cling to whatever comes their way. This idea can cause them to get involved with the wrong person, or stay in a relationship that is toxic for them. It is crucial to realize that relationships are plentiful. (If you don’t have one, it is because you are keeping it away). It is never necessary to cling to someone out of fear of being alone. Law # 2 Know Who You Are And What You Really Want Many enter relationships hoping that it will give them a life, or make them feel better about themselves. They may want their partner to take care of them, or give them the approval they’ve been denied. But it is of the utmost importance to know and respect who you are, to enjoy your own company and be aware of your own values and goals. Otherwise, you can lost in a relationship, become a pawn in someone else’s world.. A healthy relationship is an expression of two people, both equally valuable. In this kind of relationship you discover all you have to offer and how to offer it. Law #3 Don't Keep Choosing The Wrong Person For You Some find, to their amazement, that they choose the same partner, over and over again. Relationships patterns repeat as well. This is called the repetition compulsion. It is the unconscious need to repeat a situation over and over until we master it or it turns out the way we want it to. This compulsion keeps some people stuck in a bind. If you are caught in this, see what this pattern is doing for you. Actively choose different places to go and individuals who are different from those you usually meet. Become stronger than the pattern. Turn you life around. Law #4 - Enjoy Honest Communication Without the ability to say No, we cannot say Yes. Don't pretend to be someone you're not to make another happy. Don't give up that which is meaningful to you for the sake of a friendship. The bedrock of all happy relationships is mutual respect and acceptance and open, honest, communication. Ask for what is important to you. Find out what is really going on for your partner. When a person really feels listened to and accepted they feel loved. Law #5 Don’t Try To Change Or Fix Other Person Let everyone be who they are, including yourself. So many of us are obsessed with changing or fixing everyone. This is not friendship, but manipulation. . Many believe that if the person cared enough, they would certainly change for them. This is not so. Changing another is not your job. Find out who the person you are with really is. If someone feels accepted, they can change themselves, if they want to. Law # 6- Know Difference Between Real and Counterfeit Love. Feeling happy, high, excited or attached to a person, feeling possessive or dependent is not love. It's infatuation, ego thrills or dependency, usually based upon fantasy. Inevitably, fantasies fade. People then feel that the love is over. It is not over, it’s just been a form of counterfeit love. We must learn the difference between real and counterfeit love, between love and fantasy. Counterfeit love always involves struggle and pain. Real love never does. Real love is a verb. It is not based simply upon feelings, which come and go, but actions. It is important to learn "to"do love". Do love and you will be loved. in return. Law #7 - See the Best In Others - And In Yourself. What we see in others, we bring out in them. If we focus upon their negative points (and let them know about them), you can be certain the negativity will increase. When we focus upon what is good in that person and let them know, this brings out the best. The better a person then feels about themselves, the less need they have for negativity. Often it can just fall away on its own. Law #7 1/2- The Master Law When They Come We Welcome, When They Go We Do Not Pursue Understand that each relationship lasts for a certain time. You've come together to learn from one another, to share, enjoy and often move along. This is not rejection, but growth and change. Change is natural and inevitable. Don't see it as failure. Don't see it as loss. Don't try to control when time comes to go. Realize that if the person is supposed to be with you longer, they will return on their own. The greatest art of relationships is to know how to let go. When someone new comes welcome them, when it's time to let go, thank the person for all you've received from them and let go.

The Truth About Finding Your True Love And How You Can Fulfill Your Dream Of Living Happily Ever Aft

by: Cucan Pemo Publishing

“All we need is love.” Myth or not? Since love does seem to be able to overcome anything and everything, at least on television and at the movies, this seems like a reality. However, truth is, making relationships work takes skill and hard work, regardless of the “love” factor. This is a myth here. Let’s take a peak at some of the more common concepts above “love” relationships and see if they are myths or based upon reality. If you are thinking of going into a relationship, or if you find yourself falling in love, and ready to date, keep this in mind: relationship is way, way beyond just love and attraction. Just like in fairy tales, once true love is found, people live happily ever after. Truth or myth? Granted couples can look into each other’s eyes and have those warm fuzzy feelings. However, truth is, all couples will have their ups and downs. “Happily ever after” seems to imply a perfect, problem-less relationship when in reality, those don’t exist. If you are in a problem-less relationship (which doesn't exist anyway), you'll get bored one day. And one of the couples will want to run away! So, is it possible to create and maintain a long lasting and blissful relationship, or can one even dream of creating the relationship of his or her dreams? You bet! The first step is to arm yourself with the genuine knowledge and instructions on how to create your soul-based relationship. Trust me, it is worth your time and money if you can ever find a comprehensive course of instructions and learn more about the truth of relationship, and especially how you can draw in your soul mate! It has to be “love at first sight” in order to work long- term. Myth or truth? While this can be true for some, it certainly doesn’t have to be for all couples in long-term relationships. Many people grow together over time. Since practically anyone can learn the nuts and bolts of relationship building, focusing on some basic techniques that can be learned is a must. The main ones, in no particular order, are: - Understand your-self. Understand yourself. What is your personality. You may be surprised. Some people live for a long time and never come to understand or even realize why they are the way they are! And why is this important? It determines how you look at the world, how you will interpret the events occurring in your life, and WHO YOU ARE will help your partner determine how to react to YOU! - Rapport: Develop rapport with others well. Now let’s take a quick peak at the basics of developing rapport with others. In a nutshell, what it takes is to ask questions, have a positive, open attitude, encour age an open exchange of communications (both verbal and unspoken), listen to verbal and unspoken communications and share positive feedback. - Conflict Resolution: Resolve negative issues and conflicts without too much friction How do you handle conflicts? If you can put your ego aside pretty much and try to keep friction to a minimum, your relationships should move along fairly smoothly. Where you feel disagreement, if you can “agree” to disagree on certain things with the other party involved, that will help, too. In short, conflict resolution means to pretty much deal with others as you would want them to deal with you. Once true love is found, people live happily ever after. Truth or myth? Well, it will definitely not be a perfect, problem-less journey. However, you definitely can live happily ever after with the love of your life, if only you will arm yourself with the right relationship skills and learn relationship mastery whole heartedly. Trust me, this is within your power. It is your destiny to draw in your highest and best mate, if you have decided to. About The Author: Cucan Pemo is the Best Selling Author for her unconventional ebooks at http://www.Retrievealover.com/home.htm Get FREE Special Reports, FREE Ebooks, tips, strategies and resources on how you can Find True Love and Bring Back A Lost Love at http://www.RetrieveALover.com/home.htm

GAINING CLARITY ON RELATIONSHIP PATTERNS

by: Robert Najemy

GAINING CLARITY ON RELATIONSHIP PATTERNS Robert Elias Najemy >From our Conscious Love Relationships Program at: http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/relationships/index.asp We suggest that you use this questionnaire to gain greater clarity before answering the basic questionnaire. A. have you had previous relationships: If yes: 1. Are there specific types of partners that you attract or are attracted to? 2. Is there a certain type of partner towards which you feel aversion? 3. Were you happy in these relationships? 4. In general did you leave the relationship or did the other? 5. What do you believe were the factors that played a role in these relationships not working out? 6. Did you play a role in their not working out? If so what was your contribution? 7. Do you notice any patterns in your relationship situations and interactions? If so which? 8. What lessons might you be able to learn from these previous relationships? 9. Were there also very pleasant and positive moments in those relationships? If so, which? B. Your parental prototypes: 1. How would you describe the your parental prototypes: a. Your Mother b. Your Father c. The relationship between them – the ways in which they interacted and communicated – or did not. d. Your own relationship with you mother e. Your own relationship with your father. 2. Were there behavioral similarities between any of your previous partners and one or more of your parents. If yes, A. Which were they? B. What might you need to learn by having «chosen – as a soul» to have a number of close persons with similar behaviors? C. What do you want to learn or do in relationship to that? C. Is there a difference between what society and / or your parents want for you and what you want from a relationship? What do you want to do about that? D. What is important for you to have in your relationship. (Have in mind that you might be able to have all of these, and maybe not. You might have to choose or sacrifice.) __1. To have a relationship at any cost. To have a partner, children, family? __2. To be in love with someone? __3. To be loved by someone? __4. To be able to share feelings and thoughts with someone? __5. To have a lively and interesting interaction with someone? __6. To be socially accepted because you are married? ___7. To have a relationship so as to be able to have children? ___8. To have a relationship in order to feel worthy to others. ___9. To have a relationship in order to feel safe and secure? ___10.To have a relationship so that there will be someone at home with me – especially in the evenings. Other needs that you hope to have satisfied through a relationship. ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ E. Have you noticed that you might have certain doubts, concerns or fears about creating a committed personal relationship. If so why? Consider the following possibilities. 1. We might fear intimacy because we fear: a. Being abandoned b. Being suppressed c. Being hurt d. Rejection e. That we will not be able to be ourselves f. If they know us deeper, they will not will not want to be with us. 2. We might feel vulnerable and afraid of being hurt if we are open and loving and prefer to keep an emotional distance. 3. We do not want to give the other the idea that he or she can do whatever he or she likes with us. 4. We would like them first to ask for forgiveness or at least realize their mistakes. 5. We fear we will lose control over them by letting them be too relaxed with us. 6. We want to place the blame for our dissatisfaction with ourselves or our lives on someone else who is "responsible". 7. We falsely believe that love requires that we must let this person do whatever he or she wants – regardless of ethics or justice – and that this would be totally unacceptable. 8. We have identified with the role of the victim and need to feel hurt and abused. 9. We are in the role of the interrogator and need to find others’ faults. 10. We are afraid of expressing love, because we fear that there will not be an adequate response from others and we will feel rejected. 11. We cannot believe that others could possibly love us. 12. We have been seriously hurt by this person and cannot overcome this bitterness. If you have been affected by these or other obstacles what can you do to get free? F. Do you feel unhappy alone? For a few days? For a long time? If so, what obstructs you from being happy even when you are alone? 1. Are you afraid when alone? 2. Do you feel less worthy when alone? 3. Are you bored when alone? 4. Do you not know what to do with your time? 5. Do you feel that there is no meaning to life, when you are alone? 5. Do you feel badly because the others are in relationships and you are not? 6. What emotions do you have when you think: a. That you do not have a relationship at this moment? b. That you have not had a relationship for some time? c. That your previous relationships have not worked out? d. That some others have relationships and you do not? 7. What do you want or need to do in order to feel better alone until you meet the right person? 8. What do you believe will change in your life if you have a love partner? What will you have that you do not have now? -----------------------article ends----------------------- ****************************************** Robert Elias Najemy, a life coach with 30 years of experience, has trained over 300 Life coaches and now does so over the Internet. Info at: http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/introholisticcoach.asp He is the author of over 20 books, 600 articles and 400 lecture cassettes on Human Harmony. Download FREE 100's of articles, find wonderful ebooks, guidance, audio files and teleclasses at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com. His books The Psychology of Happiness and Remove Pain with Energy Psychology are available at http://www.amazon.com

Relationship Advice: Follow Your Gut!

by: Justin C Luyt

Relationship Advice: Follow Your Gut! Copyright © 2005 Justin C. Luyt The Spirit of Romance http://www.SpiritOfRomance.com When people seek relationship advice from a trusted friend or family member, it is most likely a waste of time, says relationship author Justin Luyt. "We ask for relationship advice often when we feel we do not have the answers to our relationship challenges," Luyt says. "We grasp for external wisdom, with the false belief that we do not know the answers, but if we are being authentic to ourselves, we have those answers." Luyt recently published The Spirit of Romance, a book that offers readers practical relationship advice and uses interactive planning tools to not just change thoughts, but feelings and behavior, too. Using the term "Spirit", Luyt defines the inner source people must acknowledge before looking honestly inside themselves instead of seeking relationship advice from others. "We know why we are where we are in the relationship," Luyt says, "but often avoid our own internal introspection. Spirit challenges us to grow and learn." He insists that by strengthening relationship with Spirit, people can truly grow and move past the challenges at hand. "When we ask for help from a friend, it is for an ear... not guidance," he summarizes. Throughout his book, Luyt offers a look at self-reflective relationship advice, all based on Spirit, which allows people to see others in their true light, as people filled with desires, dreams and vulnerabilities. Luyt writes people seek mutual personal and spiritual growth as the basis for any relationship. His ideas of Spirit inspire people too look within their core being to experience something they can understand and feel completely. This acceptance of Spirit negates the need for outside relationship advice when people can answer the crucial questions with knowledge from within. When a relationship changes form or course, people have it within their Spirit to redirect their energies from sensitivity and vulnerability to spiritual strength. This strength gives people the ability to become their own relationship advisors because they have gained the insight necessary to overcome false doubts. Luyt writes, "People are here to grow; and spiritual growth occurs in a space of love, not fear." Through his public speaking and counseling work, the South African native has developed the Accelerated Romance Coaching Program, a one-of-a-kind mentoring and coaching system for singles and couples. Various Fortune 500 companies have used his trans-continental engagingly fresh, out-of-the-box and into- reality approach for group seminars, training and coaching. His book, The Spirit of Romance, is available at: http://www.SpiritOfRomance.com --------------------------------------------------------------------- Justin Luyt has been doing Coaching and Consulting for over 12 years. He is the published author of "The Spirit of Romance" and facilitates numerous seminars. To contact him call 1-877-7ROMANCE and his book is available at: http://www.SpiritOfRomance.com

Justin Luyt has been doing Coaching and Consulting for over 12 years. He is the published author of "The Spirit of Romance" and facilitates numerous seminars. To contact him call 1-877-7ROMANCE and his book is available at: http://www.SpiritOfRomance.com

To Be Loved As To Love

by: Amy Biddle

Ernie Larson, author of "Stage II Recovery" and other works, uses a wonderful metaphor for relationships. If you picture yourself as a telephone pole, he says, and the other person as a telephone pole, you can see your relationship as the line strung between you. You can't hold up both ends by yourself. I tell you that, because I want to tell you this: There's a lot of wonderful relationship advice to be found in spiritual writings and teachings. But if you try to use it on another person, hoping against hope that s/he will pick up the other end of the telephone line, it won't work. If you are trying to relate to someone who hits you, cheats on you, ignores you until they want sex, or otherwise uses you in any way, then you are not in a relationship with that person. This relationship advice article does not apply to the two of you. What you have is a trauma bond, and I trust you to seek professional help, if that's what it takes, to extricate yourself. For those connections with others that can honestly be called relationships, I have gathered some powerful relationship advice in my years of study and practice in conscious spiritual living. The first thing to know is that there is unlimited love for you in this universe. You'll receive it as soon as you're willing to, and as soon as you quit dictating where you think it should come from and how it should be delivered. Be present to your life, and you'll see love showing up in the most unexpected places. The second principle of relationship advice is that a relationship cannot be a closed system of two. If it is, it won't be a relationship for long. There needs to be space in any relationship for other friends, family, as well as room for Spirit to work in you and your loved one. Your primary relationship must be with your own concept of Spirit. All other relationships will fall into place. The last thing I want to offer you will improve your communication skills. It's a copy of the Peace Prayer of St. Francis. No one really knows who wrote it, but this centuries old poem is packed with relationship advice. Make me an instrument of Thy peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love; Where there is injury, pardon; Where there is discord, harmony; Where there is doubt, faith; Where there is despair, hope; Where there is darkness, light; Where there is sadness, joy. O Divine! Grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console; To be understood, as to understand; To be loved, as to love. For it is in giving that we receive; It is in pardoning that we are pardoned; And it is in dying that we are born into eternal life. Practice the principles of this prayer in all of your relationships, and you'll find that your life full of the kind of relationships you really want.